Unfilter your words

Most readers enjoy getting completely immersed in the experience of a book. They dive into the story and feel like they are right there with the actions and emotions of the characters. At least they feel that way as long as the descriptions aren’t filtered through words that create space between the reader and the characters’ experiences.

What are filter words?

Filter words tell the reader that a character is experiencing something rather than directly show the reader what the character is experiencing. For example, take a look at these sentences:

The ball was flying directly toward his face.

He saw the ball flying directly toward his face.

Which sentence grabs the reader more and allows the reader to be part of the action? The first one. We get the action directly. In the second sentence, we get the action filtered through what the character is seeing. This indirect description creates a distance between the reader and the characters, meaning the reader is sitting outside the story rather than directly in it.

Examples of filter words

Most of the words regarding the senses are filter words, such as saw, heard, smelled, felt, watched, noticed, observed. Thinking words are also filter words, such as realized, recognized, thought, wondered, decided, knew. These are some of the most common words, and I often do searches for these specific words while editing a manuscript to make sure to catch as many of them as possible.

Editing for filter words

Most of the time sentences with filter words are fairly easy to revise, as the example sentences I used above show. Just remove the filter word (and name or pronoun that goes with it) and you’re left with the main sentence, which might need some minor adjustments. Occasionally, a sentence might need a little more revision/rewriting to get the filter word out of there.

One of the reasons filter words create distance is because they are telling the reader what is happening rather than showing them. So sometimes, instead of just removing the filter word and sticking with the rest of the sentence, you might want to revise by adding in a specific action or facial expression or even some dialogue.

Note: Not all filter words are bad. Don’t just indiscriminately slash and burn all of them. Sometimes the filter word verb is actually the point of the sentence. If your character has just had a major realization, then writing “she realized…” is perfectly acceptable. Like most things, take these revisions on a case-by-case basis. Far more often, you’ll want to get rid of these words, but don’t be afraid to use them when they add to the reader’s experience of the story.

First person and filter words

When writing in first person, “I” shows up a lot. When you add filter words into the mix, “I” shows up even more than a lot. And readers get tired of seeing “I” in almost every sentence. So if you’re writing in first person, you should especially watch out for using filter words. Here’s an example:

I see my friend across the room. I think she’s mad at me, but I’m not sure. I heard a rumor that she doesn’t plan to go to the party tonight. I wonder if that means she doesn’t want to go to the party or that she wants to avoid me. I hear my name. I see her waving and smiling. I realize she’s not mad at me after all.

Okay, that’s overkill on the examples, but it should really drive home the point about how much these filter words bog down the actual action and emotion of a story. Let’s try this paragraph again:

My friend is standing across the room with her back turned. She must be mad at me. A rumor’s going around that she doesn’t plan to go to the party tonight. Does that mean she doesn’t want to go to the party or that she wants to avoid me?

“Sarah!” She’s waving and smiling.

I smile and walk toward her.

Which version would you rather read? The first example used “I” eight times, while the second uses it only once. And all the filter words have been removed. Now there’s a little more action (we see the friend across the room, turned with her back to the narrator, and in the end, the narrator walks to her friend) and a touch of dialogue. And instead of telling the reader that the friend’s not mad at the narrator, now the words are showing the reader, who can figure that out from the dialogue and facial expressions and movement.

Don’t separate your reader from the story. Don’t make it obvious that the reader is reading a story. Aim for full immersion in your book by letting the reader get the story directly rather than filtered through the senses of a character.